I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
