Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
