is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
