my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
