Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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