I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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