Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
