There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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