put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
