You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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