Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
