last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize