Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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