never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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