rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
