I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
