he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
