4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
