she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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