Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
