Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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