im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
