you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
