She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
