She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
