We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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