Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
