dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
