dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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