This is not my ceiling
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
