New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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