im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
