how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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