the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't deserve a penis
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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