Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

what?

(479): View more from Arkansas

your penis

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

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(571): View more from Virginia

I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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(212): View more from New York

You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.

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(707): View more from California

We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out

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(573): View more from Missouri

The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.

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