cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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