There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
