I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
