Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
