We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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