he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
