You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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