Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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