2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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