I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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