I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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