We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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