Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
