Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
