I met the friendliest cop last night
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
