The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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