Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
