A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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