Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
