he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This is my gift to your gina
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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