Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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