Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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