I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
