Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
