Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
